Some Funny Quotes

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
      Bertrand Russell

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"”
     A A Milne/Winnie the Pooh

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
   Steven Wright

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
  Ron White

First the doctor told me the good news I was going to have a disease named after me.
   Steve Martin

Always borrow money from a pessimist he wont expect it back.
  Oscar Wilde

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.
     Paula Poundstone

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
      Anonymous

I always wanted to be somebody now I realise I should have been more specific.
    Lilly Tomlin

And finally one or two from Dr Seuss

From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere.

Today you are You that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youre than You